Rhaaaaa ! Je savais que je ne pourrais pas y couper. Je le savais !
Mince de flûte !
Cette semaine, ma psy est revenue sur l’une des recommandations du docteur Foldès.
Il avait dit que c’était fondamental, mais bon, on a tous, dans une certaine mesure, tendance à l’exagération. Du coup, moi, sa recommandation, je l’avais enregistrée mais avec un énorme bémol. J’ai remplacé « fondamental » par « qui facilitera les choses ».
Il faut dire qu’autant il y a des indications que je peux appliquer avec zèle et concentration (mettre de la crème tous les jours sur mon clitoris, par exemple), autant celle-là, je ne peux pas. Blocage total. Donc, très sagement, je l’avais mise de côté.
Déjà, mes ébats sont plus sereins, cette horrible et pesante ombre qu’avait laissée la mutilation ayant disparu. L’amour à l’horizontale a acquis une légèreté que je n’imaginais pas possible.
Du côté physique aussi, la différence entre l’avant et l’après se sent nettement. Je n’ai plus de douleurs ou d’inconfort lors de mes parties fines qui se sont enrichies en sensations.
Bref, le sport en chambre m’est devenu largement plus agréable et je n’ai vraiment pas à me plaindre.
J’imaginais le nirvana, l’ivresse d’orgasmes multiples, le plaisir et la jouissance à tous les étages, le tout sans effort particulier. Je pensais qu’il suffirait d’attendre patiemment que mon clitoris s’invite avec enthousiasme à ces fêtes des sens.
Et bam !
« Quid de la masturbation ? » m'assène t-elle tranquillement.
Comment? Plaît-il ? La quoi ?
En pleine déroute, à deux doigts d’être choquée, j’ai retenu, in extremis, un petit gloussement stupide de gêne. Et bien, la question va être réglée très vite: je ne me masturbe pas.
Pourquoi ? Mais… mais je ne sais pas moi ! Je ne me masturbe pas, c’est tout, c’est comme ça.
Je me tortillais comme un ver de terre sur ma chaise tellement le sujet ne m’inspirait pas.
Il y a des femmes dont c’est le truc, qui trouvent ça totalement naturel, et qui sont totalement à l’aise avec la question. Et bien, je ne suis pas de celles-là, voilà.
Non Madame, je ne me « stimule » pas en solo, moi! Je me fous de passer pour une grosse "coincée du cul" comme on dit vulgairement (et on ne peut s'empêcher de remarquer l'adéquation de cette expression grossière à la situation qui nous occupe) mais je le dis tout net: je ne mange pas de ce pain-là, moi!
Alors oui, c’est bien connu que c’est le meilleur moyen de connaître son corps, de savoir ce qui nous plaît et ce qui ne nous plaît pas, tout ça, tout ça. Je le sais et je ne doute pas que ce soit vrai. Mais bon, je passe quand même volontiers mon tour.
"Il faut y aller pas à pas", m’a-t-elle dit.
Soit. Pour autant, je n'étais toujours pas emballée par la perspective de me tripoter.
Ma psy m’a alors conseillé de mettre l'onanisme de côté pour le moment (Alléluia !) et de juste explorer mon clitoris avec mes doigts, comme pendant ma cicatrisation. Pas pour vérifier s’il est encore sensible-douloureux, mais plutôt pour sentir ses réactions, ses changements de forme, de volume, selon mon état d’esprit.
Elle m’a conseillé d’oublier la dimension sexuelle, ce qui me va très bien. Elle m’a aussi dit de ne pas me forcer, d’y aller tout doucement, de temps en temps, comme ça.
Bon.
Explorer, ça me semble déjà plus facile que « masturber » (Brrrrr!). Je ne m’y suis toujours pas mise, mais ça me parait moins insurmontable.
Je ne m’étais pas rendue compte que mon opération allait impliquer que je change de sexualité. Je ne m’étais pas douté qu’il allait me falloir être plus active dans ma vie sexuelle. Pourtant, c’est bien de cela qu’il s’agit : devenir maîtresse de ma sexualité et quitter la passivité facile qu’impliquait ma sexualité avant l’opération.
Punaise, ça va être dur.
349 commentaires:
1 – 200 sur 349 Suivant› Les plus récents»:-) je comprends que ce ne soit pas facile...
mais quel dommage d'avoir un si joli petit clitoris tout neuf pour le laisser dormir, comme une bague dans sa boite en velours rouge :-)
vas-y :-)
bonjour donc je me presente je suis lyceenne en 1 ere ES au lycee louis pasteur a lagos au nigeria je suis francaise et je traite pour mon TPE epreuve du BAC le sujet de l'excision.Je voudrais vous demander si il etait possible que vous m'en disiez un peu plus sur cette pratique vu que vous y en avez ete "victime". je voudrais savoir pourquoi cette pratique? ou est elle pratique? par qui? et avoir une sorte de temoignage sur votre cas :) mon adresse e-mail est: ambre419@hotmail.com si vous pouvez quand vous en avez le temps m'envoyer ces informations je vous en serrais tres reconnaissante. merci enormement :)
Ambre
Tu as raison, Chani. D'ailleurs, je m'efforce d'y aller, mais ce n'est franchement pas simple.
Bonjour Ambre! Tu sais Ambre, je ne suis pas du tout une spécialiste de la question de l'excision, juste une personne lambda. Ce que je sais de l'excision, je l'ai appris au cours de longues heures passées sur le net et dans quelques livres qui traitent du sujet.
En plus, il se trouve que je ne me rappelle pas du tout de mon excision, alors vois-tu je ne pourrais que te répéter ce que j'ai déjà écrit dans les pages de ce blog.
J'avoue que je viens de passer un bon moment en lisant ton billet.... Sans moquerie aucune, ça m'a fait pleurer de rire !
Je ne sais pas si ça peut aider, mais ce genre de questionnement se pose même aux femmes non excisées, il suffit d'être issu d'une société historiquement construite sur une religion répressive et "coincée du cul", qui honnit le plaisir sexuel, particulièrement celui des femmes....
Une excision symbolique, quoi.
Depuis mai 68 et la "parenthèse enchantée", c'est censé être du passé, mais se débarrase-t-on si facilement du poids des siècles ?
Coucou !
Il parait en effet que la masturbation est un des meilleurs moyens de se connaitre. Je dis "il parait" parce que j'ai jamais vraiment pratiqué et ça ne m'attire pas plus que ça. En fait, ça m'ennuie et je me dis que certes ça procure du plaisir, mais il manque celui de prendre l'autre dans ses bras pendant, après, avant, tout le temps. Bref, t'en fais pas, niveau masturbation féminine je crois qu'on n'a pas fini de chercher la vérité ! :-P
Mouarf ! Je me marre mais ne me moque point, hein ! (C'est ta faute aussi !)
Le jeu en vaut peut-être la chandelle ?
Entre toi et toi, il y a toi... Et si ça te permets d'atteindre ce qu'il peut y avoir entre toi et "l'autre" (pas péjoratif !)... ben, ...
Fumeuse mon argumentation ? ouaip, mais si ça pouvait aider à te convaincre (il faut tout essayer... ou presque).
Bonjour,
je suis un homme de 52 ans et je suis ton blog avec intérêt depuis mai dernier. J'aime beaucoup ta
manière de t'exprimer et ton honnêteté .... ton dernier message m'a bien fait rire aussi, comme d'autres.
Bon, venons en au fait. Je suis en voyage au Sénégal depuis février dernier et je sais ce que faire
l'amour avec une femme excisée veut dire (expérience renouvellée, disons que ce n'est pas anecdotique et
que cela concerne 3 femmes sur 5, à mon grand désaroi). Ce n'est d'ailleurs pas pour rien que je lis ton
blog, tellement cela m'a incommodé de me trouver dans cette situation, moi qui aime partager tendresse,
érotisme, etc .... j'ai voulu comprendre !
Tout cela pour te dire qu'il FAUT continuer : le blog et la démarche. Pour toi et pour ton homme.
Crois-moi (c'est pour cela que je t'écris) pour un homme, faire l'amour avec une femme qui réagit,
éprouve, renvoie, cela n'a RIEN à voir. Je ne développerai pas plus avant sur ce thème, mais ça
meriterait de pleines pages d'explications. Bien sûr, beaucoup d'hommes se contrefichent de ça, je les
plains, ce sont des sourds, des aveugles, que sais-je ?
Un mot sur l'onanisme (tiens c'est-y mieux que "masturbation" ? en tout cas c'est à lire :
http://www.pimentrose.biz/Articles/Detail.asp?ID=40 ), au sens de masturbation : je pratique la chose
depuis longtemps, et cela m'a bien aidé pour me connaître, me redonner confiance parfois lorsque quelque
chose s'était mal passé avec une femme - c'est pas aussi facile que ça de faire l'amour pour un homme
.... je dis 'faire l'amour", pas "tirer un coup". Et enfin je dirais - et cela n'a plus rien à voir avec
l'excision - que j'ai connu des femmes qui mettaient des ANNEES à faire évoluer leur libido, pour passer
successivement de stades où elles n'éprouvaient du plaisir qu'en se masturbant, puis en se faisant
sodomiser (désolé, ça existe), enfin en éprouvant (finalement) de puissants orgasmes avec un partenaire.
Plusieurs années pour de multiples raisons, que je n'exposerai pas maintenant.
Voilà, je te souhaite tout le bien possible ...
Salut, Je viens de découvrir ton blog, en faisant une recherche sur "le manque de féminité" (sujet questionnant pour moi, en ce moment). Donc, j'en arrive à ces propos sur l'onanisme.. Depuis quelques mois, je l'ai "découvert" (j'ai 39 ans et suis céli.. battante).. j'ai découvert tellemnent plus de plaisir qu'avec mes anciens partenaires que j'en fus, dans un 1er temps, assez déconcertée.. Je me disais que, finalement, les hommes ne me servaient à rien. Mais, avec le temps, le côté olfactif, tactile, rassurant, de l'homme me manque. JE ne sais ps quand je me trouverai dans les bras d'un homme, et je ne me lance pas tous les soirs dans une nuit esseulée de "plaisirs solitaires". Mais, c'est tout de même intéressant de se connaitre. J'espère permettre à mon futur partenaire de m'aider à aller encore plus loin, dans un duo brûlant..
C'est surtout ca que l'onanisme m'a appris. Le plaisir solitaire pour un mieux être à deux.. à suivre...
Espoir
Je suis désolée que ce mot de masturbation soit tabou pour moi. Il l'était aussi dans ma famille, pourtant j'ai assez tôt découvert qu'en me caressant, j'éprouvais des sensations très agréables. Il me semble que j'avais une certaine mauvaise conscience enfant, qui a disparu à l'adolescence. Les filles sont élevées dans l'idée que l'homme va leur révéler leur corps, le plaisir... Si on en reste là, c'est le meilleur moyen de rester frigide toute sa vie ! Parce que ton corps, tu es la seule à pouvoir le sentir. Certes, un homme attentif peut parvenir à te caresser jusqu'à l'orgasme, et c'est merveilleux, mais tu as envie de connaître le plaisir et le moyen le plus simple et le plus rapide, c'est toi-même !
J'ai réfléchi à ton problème et je te conseille vivement le livre de Shere Hite, "Le nouveau rapport Hite", basé sur une enquête sur la vie sexuelle des femmes. Elles y parlent naturellement de leur façon d'atteindre l'orgasme. C'est un livre dépourvu de tabous et de préjugés, avec une approche militante. Je pense qu'il peut constituer une bonne base de réflexion pour toi et ton compagnon.
Bonsoir Papillon,
c'est en surfant sur le net ce soir à la recherche d'infos que je découvre votre témoignage salvateur et émouvant.
moi , aujourd'hui je viens de comprendre que ,la petite fille que j'ai adoptée , et qui ,depuis qu'un voyage en afrique est programmé pour re-découvrir sa terre natale ,se mutile la peau des mains et des pieds, a été excisée....
Comment n'ai je pas compris ou vu plus tôt?
Est il possible d'être dans le déni à ce point?
Ce soir je tremble , je suis en colére et perdue , comment vais je lui expliquer, comment en parler ,que faire ...
Votre témoignage me boulverse et me réconforte aussi .
Je souhaite à ma fille le courage dont vous faites preuve.
Encore un très beau texte à la fois pudique, drôle, informatiif, touchant, sobre et bien écrit ! Chapeau Papillon (et bonne chance pour l'"exploration" ;-).
Papillon, je reviens régulièrement prendre des nouvelles et j'apprécie toujours autant votre/ton talent d'écrivain!
Pour ce qui est de la sexualité, j'ai lu récemment un court article sur ces fameuses pratiques masturbatoires qu'on nous prescrit à tort et à travers, j'allais presque écrire qu'on nous "impose"! Non pas que je trouve l'exercice désagréable en soi, entendons nous bien... Bref, il ressort de cet article que la masturbation comme panacée universelle, c'est au fond une idée de mec: avec leur organe bien en évidence qui "invite" en quelque sorte la prise en main, c'est une sorte de réflexe. Chez les femmes, le cheminement vers le plaisir passe d'abord par l'appropriation d'une géographie cachée au regard, et donc... bingo! par l'exploration.
Bonne chance donc, Dr Livingstone!
A propos de bouquins, le seul qui m'ait vraiment "parlé" dans ce domaine c'est celui de Catherine Blanc "La sexualité des femmes n'est pas celle des magazines"... Pour sortir des clichés et des injonctions en tous genres.
Bonjour Papillon, tu dis tout dans ton dernier paragraphe :
"Pourtant, c’est bien de cela qu’il s’agit : devenir maîtresse de ma sexualité et quitter la passivité facile qu’impliquait ma sexualité avant l’opération."
Ce problème se pose aussi pour des femmes non excisées... La masturbation est vue comme honteuse lorsqu'une femme la pratique. Par la société toute entière et parfois par elle même. C'est un conditionnement de plus qui nous empêche de nous épanouir.
Si on considère que la nature ne fabrique rien d'inutile, prêtons lui la main à l'occasion ;-)
Je viens juste de recevoir le livre que j'avais commandé à la FNAC : "le nouveau rapport Hite" de shere Hite. C'est la seule enquête sur la sexualité féminine qui étudie d'un point de vue FEMININ. Je n'en ai lu qu'une centaine de page mais je pense que ça pourrait t'interesser : le clitoris est au centre de la sexualité féminine et il y a aussi une partie de l'enquete qui traite de la masturbation...
Je te fais une grosse bise et je te souhaite de connaître ces multi-orgasmes ;-)
bonjour
j'ai été très touchée par ton témoignage, très émouvant.
quel parcours! je ne vais pas paraphraser les autres commentaires, mais tu vas pouvoir vivre ta vie maintenant.
Oui toute ta sexualité est à apprendre, à découvrir. Et la masturbation qu'on a diabolisé est la voie la plus saine, la plus naturelle pour apprendre à te connaitre.
découvrir ton plaisir, ce nouveau corps qui peut te répondre, vibrer maintenant que tu peux enfin être à l'écoute de ce dont on t'avais privé.
tu as la vie devant toi, le plaisir à découvrir, ton corps à accepter, à écouter et ces orgasmes à répétition, ces vagues de plaisir que tu avais imaginé, tu pourras les découvrir.
Non il n'y a pas de honte à ça. Celles qui se l'interdisent, car c'est tabou ou je ne sais quelles raisons encore passent à coté de plein de trucs ;)
Le temps, l'estime de soi, la découverte ... tout ça apprivoisé, tu comprendras de toi même. autorises toi à être heureuse, à ressentir du plaisir et tu verras qu'en connaissant mieux ton corps, l'amour à deux peut aussi évoluer.
Plein de bonnes choses à toi pour la suite. Je suis si émue te t'avoir lue que je sais pas comment clore mon commentaire.
sois heureuse, tu mérites!
amicalement
Laurence
bonjour papillon,j'ai aussi été excisée trés jeune A 2 ANS et j'ai aujourd'hui 22 ans. j'ai la ferme intention de réparer cette mutilation et te remercie d'avoir publié ce blog qui j'en suis convaincue, fait parti de ma renaissance!!! merci mille fois!!
bonjour papillon,j'ai aussi été excisée trés jeune A 2 ANS et j'ai aujourd'hui 22 ans. j'ai la ferme intention de réparer cette mutilation et te remercie d'avoir publié ce blog qui j'en suis convaincue, fait parti de ma renaissance!!! merci mille fois!!
Alors là, Papillon, chapeau ! Arriver à écrire aussi bien un billet aussi compliqué, intime et plein d'humour, il fallait le faire. Je ne sais pas ce que tu fais dans la vie, mais tu devrais continuer à écrire, c'est sûr.
Question conseils, j'avoue que je n'en ai pas. Je dirais comme chani, vas-y, mais peut-être plutôt à petits pas...
En tout cas, je te souhaite que la nouvelle année t'apporte tout ce que tu te souhaites.
Claude de Vieux, c'est mieux !!!
Bonjour, je suis d'autant plus intéressée par votre blog, t que je suis responsable de publication d'une édition de femmes et d'une revue. (Il est non seulement très instructif mais aussi très bien écrit, je tiens à vous le dire !)
A ce titre je suis en train de rédiger un petit livre sur la réparation de l'excision avec le Dr Foldes et deux de ses collaboratrices. Une anesthésiste et une sexologue.
entre les témoignages de ces deux femmes j'ai éprouvé le besoin de citer deux ou trois petits passages de votre blog. Je voudrais donc vous envoyer ce passage de mon livre afin que vous m'en donniez l'autorisation et je vous enverrai bien entendu un exemplaire de l'ouvrage terminé ( pour le salon du libre de Paris en mars). Je vous donne donc mon mail pour que je vous envoie le passage en pièce jointe. arras.marienoel@chevre-feuille.fr
merci d'avoir l'amabilité de me répondre. En ce dernier jour de 2007, je fais le vœu que vous montiez au septième ciel en 2008, même si vous devez d'abord passer par le solo, ce n'est pas si grave, vous verrez !
Toute mon amitié
Marie-Noël
Chère Papillon ,
Je t'écrirai de façon plus sérieuse une autre fois mais ce soir :
BONNES FÊTES !
.....et toute l'année , ordre du médecin .
Bises ,toi que je ne connais pas et merci pour ton immense travail pour toi et pour celles qui viennent.
Catherine.
Je te souhiate une très bonne année Papillon, pleine de bonheurs physiques et spirituels !
Je vous souhaite une excellente année 2008 plaine de bonheur et de joies.
La mienne a commencé avec mon opération par le Dr FOLDES le 04 janvier.
Je tenais juste à vous dire que quite à cette réparation je me pose beauoup de questions et grâce à votre blog j'ai trouvé des réponses à certaines d'entre elles.
Je trouve vos récits exceptionnels, ils sont d'une simplcicié et d'une précision exemplaires, j'ai vraiment la sensation de partager votre expérience et cela me permet d'aborder les choses un peu plus sereinement.
Demain, cela fera une semaine que j'ai eu la chance de bénéficier de cette réparation mais pour le moments ur la pénibilité prédomine: la douleu, les soins....
Je trouve cala très généreux de votre part de faire partager à d'autres jeunes filles votre vécu, votre intimité.
Moi en tout cela m'a énormément rassurer de pouvoir m'identifier à une personne ayant vécue la même chose de l'intérieur même si j'ai la chance de pouvoir dialoguer avec la jeune fille qui partageait ma chambre ce fameux jour de ma vie où j'ai retrouvé une intégrité physique.
Merci pour votre courage.
Et encore tous mes meilleusr voeux pour cette nouvelle anée qui vient de démarrer!!!!!!
Bonjour Papillon.
Je suis une jeune fille de 15 ans et ma classe a pour projet de sensibilisé les gens aux nombreux problèmes d'Afrique dont celui de l'excision.
C'est donc ton cas et je vois ici que tu n'as pas trop de mal a en parler.
J'aimerais donc beaucoup te poser quelques questions à ce sujet.
Si tu es d'accord, tu peux prendre contact avec moi par e-mail a l'adresse lii_the_miss@hotmail.com.
J'attends de tes nouvelles avec beaucoup d'impatiente.
Merci. Bonne journée Papillon.
Un petit bonjour, papillon, en espérant que la vie est belle......
Bises.
Je crois que ta psy a raison : si tu veux profiter de ton clitoris, il va falloir que tu apprennes à en profiter toute seule, tout simplement parce que tu es la mieux placée pour savoir ce qui te fait du bien ou du mal.
Ensuite, je te suggère de montrer à ton homme ce qui te plaît. Il ne peut pas le deviner : ce n'est pas lui qui sent ce qui se passe...
Oui, il faudra que tu sois sans doute plus "active". :-)
L'optique de l'excision, c'est que le sexe de la femme doit juste être l'exutoire de son mari, et que si elle éprouve du plaisir ce ne doit être que par la pénétration. Tu dois te libérer de ça.
Il ne faut pas non plus avoir l'idée que l'homme est une sorte d'instrument qui doit fournir le plaisir sans que tu ne collabores, comme si, par magie, le fait que tu aies un clitoris bien visible devrait t'offrir un orgasme à chaque câlin.
Je pense que vous devez vous construire une sexualité à deux, toi et ton homme, et que ça passe au besoin par un peu d'exploration... Il n'y a rien de honteux ou de sale à se toucher.
J'espère que tu vas bien! Bisous à toi
Bonjour,
Je suis une jeune chercheuse en psychologie, et je réalise un mémoire sur les incidences psychosexuelles de la chirurgie reconstructrice du clitoris. Votre blog absolument passionnant, mais peut-être pourrions-nous nous rencontrer, car je souhaiterais recueillir votre témoignage (qui n'a, pour le moment, pas d'équivalent, tant par sa richesse, que par son abondance de détails), afin d'étayer ma recherche.
Je suis toute disposée à vous donner plus d'informations sur mon travail, si vous le désirez.
J'espère très sincèrement que vous accepterez de prendre contact avec moi, et vous laisse donc mon adresse mail : juliequiquempois@yahoo.fr.
A très bientôt peut-être...
bonjour, je me présente, je suis une jeune malienne de 22ans qui a subit l'excision a l'âge de 2ans. je me suis faite opéré par le Dr Foldes en novembre. 4mois apres, je suis tres séptique quand à l'apparence que mon sex a. Je doute de moi, du résultat... J'espère que comme toi, ce ne serra que passagé.
Ton blog m'a beaucoup aidé avant et apres l'intèrvention. Tu t'exprime de façon si claire, simple et franche.
Merci pour tout
Missafrica
Papillon, c'est dommage que tu ne postes plus. Tu devrais te "diversifier" dans autre chose, tu écris tellement bien ... en espérant de te lire bientot, Bises !
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the TV de Plasma, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://tv-de-plasma.blogspot.com. A hug.
salut papillon,
cela a été si plaisant de te lire, on en redemande,
comment te sens tu après presque 1an de l'intervention.
moi aussi j'ai été opérée il y a tout juste une semaine et j'aimerais parler avec de l'aspect,car j'avoue que pour l'instant c'est ce qui m'inquiète le plus
Bonjour,
J'ajoute avec retard mais flamme un commentaire à l'enfilade qui précède.
Je suis amoureuse, mariée, épanouie dans notre sexualité - même si bien sûr je n'ai pas fini d'avancer - pour l'anecdote ingénieur aussi, et je ne me masturbe pas.
À l'inverse de la plupart des messages précédents, j'ose réfuter que la masturbation puisse contribuer à des rapports épanouis. Au contraire, l'épanouissement ne se trouve-t-il pas dans la relation à l'autre ? Ton homme peut tout à fait t'aider à mieux te connaître, et avancer à deux n'est-il pas plus heureux que d'avancer seule ?
Enfin, plus que tout je crois que c'est l'amour qui épanouit la sexualité. Bien sûr cela s'apprend jour après jour, année après année. Aussi t'exhorté-je à rechercher avec ton chéri comment t'épanouir dans ta sexualité, inséparable de la sienne !
Bon courage. =)
Marie
mcyips@hotmail.com
Bonjour Papillon! J'espère que tu vas bien! :)
coucou petit Papillon !
Je passe de temps en temps. J'espère que ton absence signifie que tout va bien !
Bises,
lilou
Bonjour Papillon,
quelques mois de retard - (merci pour ton mot), mais j'ai lu tes plus récents posts avec attention !
J'espère que depuis novembre, tu as trouvé comment prendre le "problème"...Pour en rajouter une couche, la masturbation, désolée, mais ça n'a rien à voir avec l'autre - remplacer un homme - pallier un manque ou je ne sais quoi. Pour moi cette vision est trop technicienne. Au contraire, c'est une affaire entre toi et toi, ça permet de mieux te connaître, connaître ton corps, te le révéler à toi-même dans son fonctionnement. La sexualité, depuis la petite enfance, est une affaire personnelle avant de devenir un rapport à l'autre. Toi, tu as été forcée à manquer une étape. La redécouvrir maintenant n'a rien de déshonorant. Et ce n'est pas forcément un compagnon - même que tu aimes, même avec qui tu te sens bien, qui peut ou doit aider à cela (quelle pression, sinon !!) Bises.
J'arrive bien tard, Papillon semble envolée, mais quand même je voudrais lui dire que son blog est superbe, j'ai lu de la fin d'abord et puis je suis repartie du début, pour comprendre.
Et me revoici à la fin. Avec l'espoir que tout va bien pour elle. Avec le sentiment qu'autant ce qu'elle a raconté jusqu'ici se devait d'être public, autant ce qui vient (ou qui venait il y a 6 mois) n'est plus du même domaine.
Bravo pour ton courage ça doit pas^être facile à vivre et je suppose qu'en parler ouvertement doit te soulager. Bravo également pour la qualité de ton français c'est très agréable à lire. Dommage que tu ai arrété d'écrire j'aurai bien aimé savoir où tu en est... Bye et bon courage pour la suite!
anonyme salut moi aussi j'ai subi une excision c dur mon mari m'a soutenu il connais ce genre de pratique car il a voyagé en afrique puis il m'a aider a surmonté ma souffrance je me suis fais opérée et maintenant je me sens bien. quand j'ai des rapports avec mon mari je sens de nouvelles sensations, j'ai une jolie petite fille et je ne ferai jamais ca l'exciser quelle horreur
bonsoir dis moi papillon est que va mieux j'espere que tu souffre plus
mon mari est francais, personne est au courant de mon opération a part mon mari dis moi est que je dois en parler a mon entourage.
Bonjour à vous, "Papillon" ! Je suis très touchée par votre témoignage que j'ai découvert il y a deux mois environ. Je voudrais un contact direct avec vous, je vous laisse mon adresse courriel. En effet, je suis en train d'écrire un roman qui met en scène Coumba, Sénégalaise, et j'aimerais reprendre certaines de vos phrases après la chirurgie. Merci déjà !
Chaleureusement Christiane schmitschristiane@yahoo.fr
bonjour, tout d'abord je me présente je m'appelle blaise magali et je suis une étudiante en quatriéme année sage femme.Actuellement je réalise un mémoire pour savoir s'il serait nécessaire d'effectuer une brochure d'informations sur les techniques de reconstructions pour les femmes victimes de mutilations génitales féminines. Ainsi j'aurai aimé avoir votre avis et si possible vous soumettre un questionnaire a remplir ce qui m'aiderai bien pour ma partie pratique de mon mémoire. Si cela vous intérresse je vous donne mon adresse internet (magbl@hotmail.fr) et vous enverez alors un questionnaire.Je vous remerciant d'avance et vous souhaite pleins de courage pour la suite de votre parcours.
Kikou !
Juste un petit mot afin de te remercier de partager tout cela avec nous.
Je suis assistante sociale et j'accompagne une jeune femme qui s'est faite exciser. Bien que j'avais pas mal d'information "théorique" à donner, tes commentaires m'ont permise de tenter une autre approche :-).
Merci et courage sur ton chemin ... tu me sembles être une sacrée femme ! ;-)
beaucoup appris
Bonjour, votre blog est touchant et plein d'optimisme pour les femmes qui restent muées dans le silence par peur ou encore par souffrance. J'aimerais bien avoir vos coordonnées electroniques pour échanger sur le sujet si cela ne vous ennuie pas.
Merci et bonne continuation
J'ai lu votre blog avec beaucoup d'intérêt. Je suis particulièrement touchée par vos écrits, tout comme je ressens beaucoup de colère envers une pratique telle l'excision. Je salue votre geste d'écrire votre témoignage publiquement, sur Internet, et je vous souhaite beaucoup de bonheur dans votre vie et dans votre démarche de guérison par rapport à ce que vous avez vécu.
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Bonjour Papillon,
Tout d'abord je tenais à vous dire que votre histoire m'a beaucoup touché et émue, je trouve ça vraiment courageux de votre part d'avoir partagé votre expérience sur ce blog sans tabou ni détour...Une historie très positive en somme compte tenu de l'horreur qu'est l'excision, et vous m'avez appris que l'on pouvait se faire opérer pour y "remédier", je ne le savais pas.
Je viens vers vous car je travaille avec l'antenne jeune de mon quartier dans le 19eme à paris et le 24 février prochain, ils organisent une discussion sur le thème de l'excision.
Il y aura un petit reportage de 30 minutes ainsi que des intervenants qui viendront expliquer ce qu'est l'excision, les jeunes du quartier seront présents (car c'est eux qui sont visés pour participer à la discussion et être sensibilisés au sujet).
J'aurais voulu savoir si vous étiez intéressée pour participer à cette discussion ayant vécu l'excision est le meilleur moyen de faire réagir les jeunes (il y aura peut être une personne qui témoignera également) d'autant plus que vous avez l'air d'être allé de l'avant et comme je vous l'ai dit je trouve votre histoire (en tout cas la manière dont vous nous la faites partager) très positive.
Je sais que vous avez tenu ce blog il y a quelques années maintenant donc je ne sais pas si vous aurez ce message.
Dans tous les cas, je vous laisse mon adresse mail: aurelia.monge@hotmail.fr
Je vous remercie.
Bonne soirée !
Aurélia
Bonjour Papillon,
Je découvre ton blog aujourd'hui par le biai de Pénélope et je ne peut que réagir à ce premier article que je lis de toi. J'ai 24 ans je viens juste d'épouser l'homme qui fait partie de ma vie depuis 7 ans et avec qui j'ai une relation sexuelle très épanouie, cepandant même si j'éprouve énormement de plaisir à faire l'amour avec lui j'ai aussi besoin de moment de "septième ciel en solo" en effet pour moi l'orgasme vaginal et l'orgasme clitorien sont deux choses totalement differentes et aussi "joussive l'une que l'autre". Cepandant autant l'orgasme vaginale n'est atteignable qu'avec mon homme autant l'orgasme clitorien n'est atteignable que toute seule.En effet depuis le temps que je pratique je connais tellement bien la "façon de procèder" qu'il est il impossible pour mon mari d'y arriver aussi bien que moi.
Maintenant je t'explique comment j'en suis arriver à découvrir mon clitoris : j'étais assez jeune (impossible d'être plus précise) et à l'epoque je dormais avec mes poupées et le pied de l'une d'entre elle a fini par se retrouver au niveau de mon clitoris et j'ai découvert des sensations magique, beaucoup plus tard j'en suis venu au doigt peut être pourrais tu trouver une alternative au doigt pour juste au début "te frotter" (désolé dis comme ça ça doit pas donner envie lol). Mais vraiment je pense que tu pourrai rater quelque chose.
je viens de me rendre compte de la date de ce post, j'espere que tout va bien pour toi et que tu ne post plus car ta vie est fabuleuse et tellement bien remplie que ce blog ne t'es plus nécéssaire quoiqu'il en soit bonne chance pour la suite.
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D'abord, bravo d'avoir osé en parler, votre histoire est touchante et je pense que cette initiative a du permettre a beaucoup de femmes se sentant seule dans leur démarche, à trouver un réconfort, un soutien, quelqu'un qui aide à ne pas se sentir seule dans sa démarche ô combien courageuse de reconstruction.
Je suis consciente que depuis le temps à passé, celà fait effectivement 3 ans, que vous avez abandonné les posts ... dommage mais je respecte. Parfois l'envie n'y est pas ou plus.
Cependant je me permet de vous recontacter, laissez moi vous expliquer pouquoi:
Je suis étudiante infirmière en dernière année et suis actuellement en train de rédiger un travail de recherche sur le thème suivant:
"Comment l’Infirmière diplômée d'état peut elle accompagner, au cours de la période préopératoire, la femme en demande de reconstruction vulvo clitoridienne suite à une mutilation sexuelle ?"
A cette question, j'essaye de répondre, cependant votre avis m'interesse.
Vous qui avez vécu l'expérience de la reconstruction, qu'avez vous pensé de l'attitude des infirmières lors de votre accueil, avant l'opération (ou après)?
Certaines attitudes, paroles, gestes, vous ont-il mis mal à l'aise, bléssé ...?
En sommes quels ont été les points positifs et négatifs des attitudes des soignants qui se sont occupé de vous? Qu'aurait-il fallu selon vous, pour que vous vous sentiez plus accompagnée (si toutefois quelque chose manquait)
Ma démarche est simplement faite dans un soucis d'amélioration des soins prodigués aux femmes qui désirent se faire reconstruire. J'espère que vous pourrez m'aider à répondre à cette question et ainsi aider d'autres femmes qui souffrent de l'excision à être mieux prise en charge par les services de santé.
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Je me suis trouvé ici en suivant un lien sur Facebook du'n groupe anti-excision. Ca fait visiblement 3 ans que tu poste plus sur ce blog. Je serais tres interessé de savoir l'evolution de ton histoire depuis fin 2007! Je suis pas francais mais j'habite en banlieue parisienne et j'ai eu une trop courte relation avec une femme excisée. Une histoire troublante. Une formidable femme et mere de 40 ans qui portais en elle une malaise, quelque chose de sombre, qui pese sur toutes ses relations, surtout avec les hommes. On en a trop peu discuté, mais je ne peut pas m'empecher de penser que cette malaise a ses origines dans son excision il y a 30 ans... J'aimerais bien pouvoir parler de ca avec quelqu'un qui a vecu cette horrible pratique et surtout qui a essayé de faire face a ses effets.
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Et bien c'est sur ce dernier article que je laisse ma trace, un peu comme un livre d'or. Un magnifique blog, superbe moyen d'expression, d'échange pour les femmes et hommes concernés par ce sujet et cette opération. Je suis actuellement en formation d'assistante sociale et effectue mon mémoire sur l'excision, j'oriente la fin de celui-ci sur l'impact de cette opération. J'ai conscience que votre blog date de 2007 et que peut-être vous n'êtes plus informée des nouveaux commentaires, mais je tente ma chance. Serait-il possible d'échanger avec vous sur cette étape de votre vie. Si non, connaitriez vous des personnes qui serait partante pour me témoigner de cette étape? Mercie d'avance, Anne-Laure (a-laure.b@hotmail.fr)
L'excision n'est pas une coutume africaine mais bien eurasiatique. En voici la preuve :
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L'excision est un crime contre l'humanité, et il nous faut lutter à tout prix contre cela ! toutefois, ce n'est pas une coutume et encore moins une tradition africaine ! les africains ont commencé à la pratiqué lorsqu'ils ont épousé les coutumes arabes et européennes : l'excision sous toutes ses formes étant une coutume et tradition millénaire en eurasie !
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Je suis journaliste à la radio France Info. Je fais un reportage sur la pratique de l'excision en France. J'ai parcouru votre blog avec attention. Votre témoignage me serait précieux. Acceptez-vous de m'accorder une interview qui serait diffusée en début d'après-midi ce lundi 28 mai? - elle peut être faite par téléphone si cela vous arrange-
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